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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26225302">Little Star in the Silver Sky</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/speos/pseuds/speos'>speos</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed: Worth It (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>1960s, ABSENCE OF INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, Alternate Universe - 1950s, Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Flirting, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Producer!Andrew, Tender Sex, actor!steven, but yall already knew that lol, fresh ukranian immigrant!andrew, that sort of hollywood lol, this is an au and im writing it its gonna be happy lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:33:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26225302</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/speos/pseuds/speos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shane said to Steven, “Anyway, if you’re interested, I’ll send you the script and some notes and we can get together sometime to talk about it.”</p><p>Steven nodded. “Much obliged; I would love to. Who do you have in mind for the lead?”</p><p>Shane squinted down at Steven. “Well, you, if you’re willing!”</p><p>Steven’s jaw dropped. What? “E-Excuse me?” he sputtered. “<i>Me</i>?”</p><p>~</p><p>Or, Steven is a foreign actor from Malaysia who keeps getting passed over for roles until his hard work finally catches someone's attention.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andrew Ilnyckyj/Steven Lim, Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Little Star in the Silver Sky</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I humbly ask that when Shane speaks you say his lines in your head in his ‘1920s Hollywood’ voice</p><p>if this fic includes you or anyone you know, please, for fuck's sake, don't read it. these are not the therapy bills you want to pay.</p><p>Notes: fixed some minor historical inaccuracies, thanks sinkie!<br/>Also thanks to riyusama, I forgot to add translations like a dumbass loll<br/>To the best of my googled knowledge -<br/>kohaniy = beloved<br/>Aku cintakan kau = I love you<br/>Ya tebe kohayu = I love you</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steven turned in a slow half-circle, admiring the glittering crystals that adorned the ballroom ceiling. </p><p>A charity ball! It was the sort of thing that one heard tell of on the news or in some romance novel about a beautiful woman, not something for a weird-looking foreigner like Steven. If you had told Steven when he left Malaysia for the bright lights of Hollywood that four years later he would be at one of the biggest charity balls of the year, he would have laughed in your face. </p><p>And then apologized, because he didn’t mean to laugh in your face. </p><p>Steven still felt a little like laughing at himself. Even after four years in America, clawing his way up the film ladder by playing tiny roles, somehow landing Ryan as his agent, and most recently starring as a secondary actor on a B-list drama film, he still couldn’t believe that this was his life: holding a flute of champagne in one hand and gently pinching a hors d’oeuvres – horse des-oeuvres – in the other. Steven felt more at home among actual horses than with a hors d’oeuvres in his hand.</p><p>This was one of the things that had drawn him to Ryan – and Ryan to him – in the first place. </p><p>To Steven, a foreigner in a strange land, Ryan was familiar. His almond black eyes, golden skin, and wide, beaming smile helped soothe the lonely ache in Steven’s chest. </p><p>For Ryan, Steven was hope. Although Ryan was born in America – in the Golden State itself! – he remained foreign to many of its people, his bronze skin and black hair signaling him as an outsider. He’d even spent his childhood locked up, although he didn’t like to talk about it. Ryan’s only goal was to show people that he belonged. Ryan had said as much when he’d taken Steven on as a client. “There’s people who think I don’t belong even though I’ve never belonged anywhere else. If I can get you onto the silver screen with Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe, that’ll tell people that yeah, I do belong here. So you better not let me down, Steven.”</p><p>So Steven didn’t. Steven took every job that came his way, no matter how demeaning. He went to audition after audition, and tried his best to laugh along when casters and producers and directors made jokes that weren’t funny. With Steven’s obsessive dedication and Ryan’s neurotic attention to detail capturing every last potential hiccup, Steven finally made his big speaking role debut this year, netting him a last-minute invitation to Hollywood’s biggest charity gala of the year.</p><p>Ryan’s eyes had shone with a manic energy when they got the invitation. “We got this,” he said, wrapping with Steven’s tie so firmly around his neck that Steven had nearly suffocated. “We’re gonna get you a main role tonight.”</p><p>When they’d arrived, Ryan had stuffed a hors d’oeuvres into Steven’s mouth, told him not to embarrass them, and made a beeline for the tallest man on the floor, who Steven immediately recognized as the young up-and-coming director Shane Madej. </p><p>According to Ryan, Director Madej was the perfect candidate for wheedling Steven into a speaking role. The son of Polish immigrants himself, Director Madej was known to be an eccentric sort even among the varied Hollywood types, likely to cast unusual characters like Steven. Additionally, since he was still a young director, he didn’t have as much pull to reject Steven outright in favor of bigger name white actors.</p><p>(Ryan insisted that he only paid so much attention to Madej because of the casting opportunities, but Steven thought the countless nights he’d endured of Ryan gushing over the man’s cinematic eye and flair for the dramatic told a rather different story. He didn’t tell Ryan that, though. Ryan would come around when he was ready.)</p><p>Steven subtly migrated towards the buffet table. No one had come up to speak to him, which was how Steven preferred it. Less chance to make a fool of himself and Ryan that way.</p><p>Steven loaded his plate with foods that he’d never seen before in his life, then slid along the walls of the ballroom to find someplace quiet to eat where no one would disrupt him.</p><p>He came across a tiny alcove tucked away behind the band, hidden behind two potted plants and a sheer curtain. Steven wasn’t entirely sure he was even allowed to be back here, but figured he could stay here for a little while as he consumed his goodies.</p><p>Steven sat cross-legged on the floor, back against the wall and plate in his lap. The lighting left a little to be desired, but there was still enough that Steven could take a bit of time to appreciate the sheer fanciness of the food that was here. </p><p>His first spoils were what looked like a baked green pepper stuffed with whipped cheese mixed with small purple and red flakes. A tiny slice of bacon topped the whole thing off. </p><p>Steven popped the whole thing into his mouth. </p><p>Good God. Steven moaned out loud. It tasted divine! It wasn’t the same as the food he was used to back home in Malaysia, but it was good in its own way. The rich umami flavor of the cheese was clearly the focal point, but the bell pepper and – they tasted like onions and chili flakes – gave the cheese a bite that helped it not feel so heavy in Steven’s stomach. The bacon offered a crunch that gave the whole thing a pleasant mouthfeel.</p><p>“Wow.”</p><p>Steven jumped at the unfamiliar voice, barely managing to save his plate from ruin. </p><p>Steven looked up to see a man standing at the entrance to his little alcove, a plate of food in his own hand. The man wasn’t that tall, but he was broad, his thick biceps and thighs evident even through the green dress shirt and fitted slacks he wore. Although it looked like he had come to the party more dressed up, he’d unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt and rolled his sleeves up, his jacket thrown over his arm. Golden hair gelled tight to his head, his intense eyes and stern set to his mouth gave him an intimidating aura.</p><p>Steven realized he was gawking. </p><p>Scrambling to his feet, Steven stuttered, “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize anyone would be here, I didn’t mean to disturb you – ”</p><p>The man’s deep, rich laugh cut through Steven’s apologies. “Nonsense,” he said. “I think I am the one who disturbed you.”</p><p>“Oh – oh no,” Steven tried to protest, but the man waved away his concerns.</p><p>“If you want me to leave, I will do so. I simply was curious to see who it was taking the time to properly enjoy the food at this gala.”</p><p>Steven didn’t relax, but the man didn’t seem angry, at least. “No, you don’t have to leave. I can. I just, um. Really like food.”</p><p>The man cocked an eyebrow. “Indeed.” Without further ado, he set his jacket on the floor and sat down across from Steven’s plate. “If you do not mind, I would love to have the privilege of joining you to eat.”</p><p>“Oh, please!” Steven sat back down and gathered his plate up. He dithered for a few seconds, unsure of what to do next. Then, he remembered: “I never introduced myself to you!” He stuck his hand out to shake. “I’m Steven Lim. I’m an actor.”</p><p>The man’s eyebrows shot up. “I have heard of you.” He eyed Steven’s hand for a moment before reaching out and grasping it firmly. His palm was large and warm against Steven’s. The man’s eyes bore into Steven’s. “Andrew Ilnyckyj. I am… many things, here in Hollywood. For now, I am simply a guest at this party, same as you.”</p><p>It was kind of a cryptic introduction, but there were many oddballs in Hollywood. If he didn’t want to share his occupation with Steven, then that was his own business. Instead, Steven focused on the relevant part of Andrew’s words. “You’ve heard of me?” he asked. </p><p>Andrew nodded. “Yes. I believe I saw you in… <em>Down the Yellow River</em>. You played Han Chi? It was your most recent film.”</p><p>Steven could hardly stop himself from squealing with glee. Here was someone who knew his filmography! Had even known it well enough to know it was Steven’s most recent work! “Yes!” Steven cried. Andrew winced a little at Steven’s volume but Steven couldn’t help himself. “That was me! What did you think?”</p><p>Andrew shrugged. “The film itself was mediocre.” </p><p>Steven’s stomach plummeted. He knew the film itself wasn’t great; it was set in ‘rural Shanghai,’ which was not a thing, the writing was meant to be hammy and dramatic, and the director was just doing it to get a paycheck. Still, it hurt to hear it said out loud.</p><p>Andrew continued on as if nothing had happened. “Nevertheless, I enjoyed your performance.”</p><p>Steven’s stomach reversed course immediately. “You did?”</p><p>“I did,” Andrew confirmed. “Although you did not have many lines, I could tell that you were trying to deliver them with the greatest impact possible.”</p><p>Steven sat up straight, excitement infusing his body. “Yeah! It was my first speaking role, and I wanted to put my all into it! Han Chi doesn’t say much… don’t tell anyone, but when I first got the role, they told me he was more of a comedic relief type character. But, you know, I’m always a comic relief type character. And I’m not complaining! I’m so, so grateful for the opportunity to be anything. But I just, I don’t know, felt that a little gravitas could be helpful. So I tried my best to show a more serious side of him.”</p><p>Andrew looked like he was smiling but hiding it. His eyes were curved into little crescents. “Yes, I could see.”</p><p>“Wow, thank you so much for seeing it.” Steven slumped back into the wall, head tilted back. “I didn’t realize how good it would feel to have my efforts validated.” He peered down at Andrew. “I almost got fired, y’know. For trying to do something different. It’s only because of Ryan – Mister Bergara, my agent – that I was given one more chance.”</p><p>Andrew hummed. “I am glad you were able to perform, then. I don’t believe <em>Down the Yellow River</em> would have been quite as impactful without your few lines.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not sure the movie was all that impactful to begin with,” Steven couldn’t help quipping, because sometimes he really hated his job, “but thanks anyway.”</p><p>Andrew’s lips quirked up. “That may well be true.”</p><p>They ate in silence for a little time, occasionally making little exclamations and comments on the food. </p><p>Steven liked the way Andrew said things. He was deliberate and slow, his words weighed before they were spoken. There was something round and thick about it – lilting, like Andrew was holding something in his mouth and was speaking around it.</p><p>“Say, where are you from?” Steven tilted his head. “You’ve got this accent, but I can’t place it. Is it Russian?”</p><p>Andrew let out a small chuckle. “It is easy to mistake for Russian, if you do not know the language. I am Ukrainian, so I assume that is where my accent is from.”</p><p>“Oh! Well, if it’s not patronizing, I’d like to say you barely have one,” Steven said.</p><p>“Since you are concerned about being patronizing, I would say that I do not feel particularly patronized,” Andrew said. “I appreciate your intent. And yourself? Are you from America?”</p><p>Steven shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m from Malaysia – well, my family is from China, but my parents moved to Malaysia and that’s where I was born. We use English sometimes for government work and international relations, though, and I’m lucky enough to have learned it at home so I didn’t have to learn a new language to come here. I can speak Malay, too.”</p><p>“Yes, I did notice you do not have any accents,” Andrew said.</p><p>“I like yours,” Steven said, wanting to make sure Andrew didn’t feel self-conscious about his accent. Steven had met many people who were not from America, and for some reason they all felt embarrassed about their non-standard English. Steven was lucky enough that his country’s many languages included American-sounding English, but Steven had always preferred his parents’ English: accented, with the stories of their past and culture. </p><p>Andrew cracked a smile. “Thank you,” he said. “I am not ashamed, but sometimes it can be difficult, dealing with peoples’ assumptions.”</p><p>“Oh, I hope I didn’t make you feel that way! I know what you mean – my parents have accents, and when people see me they expect me to have an accent too so they treat me like I’m worth less than them… and then when I speak perfect American English they treat me better than they treat people who do have accents! Like I could forget how easily they treated me like nothing! It’s infuriating!” Steven threw up his hands, letting out a small frustrated noise.</p><p>“You are passionate,” Andrew observed. </p><p>Steven blushed, patchy red splotches blooming across his face and down his neck. “I mean, I’m – I guess. It’s hard not to be passionate when it’s something that’s affected your life, you know?”</p><p>“Yes. I do.”</p><p>Steven opened his mouth, wanting to know more about what Andrew meant by that, but a voice interrupted him. </p><p>“Steven, there you are! I was looking all over for you! C’mon, lemme introduce you – Oh, Mister Ilnyckyj!” Ryan’s mouth popped open halfway through ushering Steven out of the alcove. “What a pleasure to meet you!” He slanted his eyes at Steven and made a quick, aborted slicing motion.</p><p>“What – oh! Oh! Yes, sorry, sorry. Ryan, this is Andrew. We were just talking about the food! Andrew, this is my agent, Ryan Bergara. He’s the one I told you about.”</p><p>Ryan laughed, big and infectious. “Nothing bad, I hope,” he said, although his tone very much suggested that if it was bad, Steven would not live to see another day. Steven smiled in what he hoped was a reassuring way as Ryan held his hand out for Andrew to shake. </p><p>Andrew took it and gave it a few firm pumps. “Only good things, I assure you.”</p><p>Ryan rocked back on his heels, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Well, this is all really good timing. Shane says he’s got you in talks for his newest movie.”</p><p>Andrew nodded. “Indeed. I am curious to see in what direction he will go with the script, but I am not fully convinced yet.”</p><p>Steven blinked. “In talks?”</p><p>Ryan looked very much like he wanted to strangle Steven in that moment. “Mister Ilnyckyj is one of the biggest producers in Hollywood, Steven, please keep up.”</p><p>Steven felt his skin heating up. He knew his cheeks were flushing a blotchy red as well. “<em>Andrew</em>!” he cried, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say. When Andrew sidestepped introductions earlier, Steven didn’t think he was hiding a boatload of money. Steven would have tried harder to not be weird! He wouldn’t have been good at it, but he would have at least tried! For Ryan!</p><p>Ryan sputtered, “‘Andrew’ – ?”</p><p>Andrew turned his calm green eyes onto Ryan. “Ah, yes, please, call me Andrew. And Steven,” he said, turning back to Steven, “I am not offended. I did not say on purpose, and we have had what I consider to be a delightful conversation nevertheless.”</p><p>“I had a good time, too,” Steven said weakly. “Still, you should have said something. I would’ve – I would’ve – ”</p><p>Andrew placed a hand on Steven’s arm.  Steven’s thoughts quieted. “It was fine, Steven,” he said. “I’m glad you didn’t. Now.” He turned back to Ryan. “You were saying?”</p><p>Ryan watched the exchange with shrewd eyes. Steven knew he could tell something was going on, but didn’t know quite what it was.</p><p>Then, to Steven’s horror, Ryan grinned.</p><p>Steven knew that grin. It was the way Ryan grinned just before Steven ‘tripped over his own shoelaces’ on the b-ball court. “Well, what do you say we all talk about it? You, me, Shane, and our boy Steven here?”</p><p>Andrew raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Ryan turned around and waved at someone. Within moments, Shane Madej had loped his way to their little alcove. </p><p>His eyes crinkled into little crow’s feet as he held a hand out to Steven. “I think we’re the last to be introduced. I’m Shane Madej. You can just call me Shane. Ryan here was telling me why I should cast you in my next film.”</p><p>Steven had enough presence of mind to grasp Shane’s hand firmly. “Steven Lim, although Ryan probably already told you that.”</p><p>“And Mister Ilnyckyj! It’s a pleasure,” Shane said, turning around and offering his hand to Andrew. “Fancy seeing you here.”</p><p>“The pleasure is mine,” Andrew said. “You were considering casting Steven, I hear?”</p><p>“Yes.” Shane rubbed at the stubble dotting his jaw. “<em>Down the Yellow River</em> was not exactly… a good movie – no offense, Mister Lim – ”</p><p>“None taken,” Steven muttered.</p><p>“ – but you definitely brought something special to your character. He’s not the kind of guy who you’d expect to be so helpful, and certainly his depths were not explored in the movie, but if you could do that with so little… it makes me think you could do more with, well, more.”</p><p>“He almost got fired for daring to do something different,” Ryan said. His eyes were curved into crescents and his smile looked proud. “I managed to talk the director down.”</p><p>Shane leaned in close and held his hand up to his mouth like he was telling some big secret. “Yeah, well, you didn’t hear it from me, but Mister Feed isn’t exactly known for thinking outside the box, if you know what I mean.”</p><p>Ryan mimed zipping his lips shut. “Not a word otherwise from me.”</p><p>“You won’t hear differently from me, either,” Andrew said wryly.</p><p>Steven stayed silent. Even if he was in similar-thinking company, a colored foreigner couldn’t afford to be overheard criticizing one of the biggest producers in all of Hollywood. </p><p>Straightening back up, Shane said to Steven, “Anyway, if you’re interested, I’ll send you the script and some notes and we can get together sometime to talk about it.”</p><p>Steven nodded. “Much obliged; I would love to. Who do you have in mind for the lead?”</p><p>Shane squinted down at Steven. “Well, <em>you</em>, if you’re willing!”</p><p>Steven’s jaw dropped. What? “E-Excuse me?” he sputtered. “<em>Me</em>?”</p><p>“Why, yes, you, Mister Lim! Don’t say you won’t do it!”</p><p>It just didn’t seem possible.  A main character? A starring role? The opportunity to tell a story on the screen? He wondered if he had hallucinated those words. “Mister Madej!” Steven cried, and then couldn’t find any more words. </p><p>“It’ll be pending your audition of course, but given your previous performances – I admit, I was especially captivated by your earlier role as Way Lin – I see no reason why this role wouldn’t suit you perfectly.”</p><p>Steven blinked rapidly. It still didn’t feel real. He tried to find the hope and joy within him someplace, but found all his emotions too slippery to grasp in the haze of shock. “Mister Madej, I don’t know what to say.”</p><p>“Yes! Say yes!” Ryan cried, arms pinwheeling wildly.</p><p>“I just….” Steven hesitated. God, this is what he wanted his whole life, but now that it was here, Steven was full of doubts. What if the reason he hadn’t gotten lead roles wasn’t because of his race, but simply that he wasn’t good enough? Did he even really deserve this? What if everyone else was right? </p><p>In the corner of his eye, Steven could see Andrew watching, arms folded across his chest. His mouth was set in neither a smile nor a frown. He was just waiting for Steven to speak.</p><p>The gesture felt important to Steven. In Steven’s life, very few people had ever considered his thoughts and feelings important enough to wait for him to speak. Andrew probably didn’t even know he was doing it, but to Steven, it felt like Andrew was saying he was worthy. </p><p>That alone quieted Steven’s doubts long enough for him to decide that he wanted this, and he was worthy of having it. </p><p>He turned to Shane. “You can count me in,” he said, and grinned so wide he was baring his teeth. </p><p> </p><p>~</p><p> </p><p>The paparazzi lights lit up the red carpet like a thousand spotlights. </p><p>Steven bounced nervously in his seat. </p><p>“Remember what we practiced, Steven,” Ryan said. He sounded calm but he was clutching his seat with white knuckles. “Reporters are vultures. Repeat after me.”</p><p>“Reporters are vultures,” Steven repeated obediently. “Although I don’t really think – ”</p><p>“That’s what they’re going to be to you in about thirty seconds,” Ryan snapped. “Thinking about them like humans isn’t going to do you any favors. They’re not going to think about you like a human.”</p><p>Steven closed his eyes and sighed. </p><p>Shane Madej’s cinematic magnum opus, and Steven’s first step into the spotlight as the starring actor, <em>Watcher</em> told the tale of Neil Lee, a private investigator. Known for being a cynic, Lee tore through every case with the cold efficiency of a man with no God – until a woman from his past comes knocking on his door, forcing Lee to confront the demons he’s kept locked away for so long and ask questions that have no answers. </p><p>It was a simple detective thriller, hardly innovative cinematically, yet it sparked wildfires of controversy even before opening night. </p><p>The choice to cast Steven, an unknown actor with only one previous speaking role, and a colored foreigner no less, as the main character was met with a lot of producer and media pushback. Coming on the heels of Shane’s previous films, all well-received and critically acclaimed, Steven seemed like a snub at all serious media experts. </p><p>Shane swirled the last of his champagne around in his glass before downing the whole thing. “Don’t mind ‘em, boys,” he said. “You can walk on water and turn it to wine but they’ll still have a bone to pick.”</p><p>Shane had become a close friend to Steven and Ryan over the course of making the movie – especially Ryan, whom he had finally won over during a particularly long shoot months into the filming. </p><p>Steven gave Shane a small smile. “Thanks, Shane.”</p><p>Shane returned it with a much bigger grin. “No problem. Now, you boys ready to cause a ruckus?”</p><p>Reporters descended upon them as soon as they stepped out of the car. Steven blinked, blinded by all the lights. </p><p>“Mister Lim, why do you think you deserve this role?” “Mister Lim, do you believe you were able to bring the necessary emotions to the role?” “Mister Lim, don’t you think it would have been better for someone more experienced and well-known to have played this character?” “Mister Lim, what do you say to people who say you are a lackluster and boring actor?”</p><p>Shane was slouched next to him, answering similar questions with a bored nonchalance. Yes, he knew what he was doing when he hired Mister Lim. Yes, Mister Lim was absolutely critical to the role. No, he and Mister Lim were not fucking. Yes, he was confident that this movie would be a hit. </p><p>Shane let out a frustrated breath and held up one hand. “If you would all take your attention off Mister Lim for just a moment – although he is an excellent actor, let that be known – you will see the man he is portraying. Isn’t that the point of the movie? Why do you insist on belittling what he has accomplished through the lens of his race?”</p><p>Steven and Ryan let Shane talk, already exhausted.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, Steven could see reporters flock to another car, dark yellow hair illuminating bright under the camera flashes.</p><p>Andrew had arrived in his own limousine, as expected of a Hollywood producer. After all, <em>Watcher</em> was not Andrew’s only movie of the year, or even the season. Steven could see Andrew scanning the venue for him and smiled when Andrew's head turned in his direction.</p><p>Andrew had become an unexpected source of comfort and support for Steven in the months of filming. Steven was glad to have made such a good impression on an important Hollywood producer, but hadn’t expected their relationship to progress much further.</p><p>However, Andrew made it a point to visit the set often, seeking Steven out for food and conversation. They spent more and more time together, culminating in them falling into bed together one night.</p><p>They’d been together ever since.</p><p>Steven endured hours more of persistent questioning with a fake smile plastered on his face. By the time Andrew found his way to Steven, it was time for the screening.</p><p>Andrew plopped down in the empty seat to Steven's left. </p><p>“I hope no one was sitting here,” he said. “I don’t want to have to say any more words tonight.”</p><p>“I think there’s a seating chart. I <em>know </em>there’s a seating chart. And I know for a fact you had a hand in creating it. Andrew.”</p><p>Andrew shrugged. “Perhaps, perhaps not. How are you feeling, about to see your first movie as the leading role, Steven?”</p><p>“Nervous,” Steven said. “See?” He showed his hand to Andrew, which was trembling even as he held it in the air. </p><p>Shaking his head, Andrew put his hand on top of Steven’s and gently lowered it back down to the armrest between their seats. “It’ll be fine, Steven. I know. And even if it’s not fine…”</p><p>As the lights dimmed, Andrew reached out for Steven's hand and gripped it tightly in his. “Even if it’s not fine, I’m still proud of you for doing what you believe in, <em>kohaniy</em>.”</p><p>Steven’s smile lit up his face even more brightly than the silver screen behind him as it began to scroll through the opening credits.</p><p> </p><p>The experience of watching his first movie where he played the lead was indescribable. Transcendent, beyond the world – there were no words for it. It was as if God had taken all of Steven’s most secret wishes and hopes and dreams and pressed them into a reel tape for the whole world to see, lit up on the silver screen. </p><p>Ryan cried unashamedly through the whole thing. Steven could see Shane twitching whenever Ryan made a weird noise, but Steven understood Ryan’s feelings. They clutched tightly onto each other as they watched.</p><p>Shane was not able, of course, to get Audrey Hepburn or Marilyn Monroe as the female lead, but Steven felt a thrill each time Madeleine Garner, his co-star and a white woman, didn’t undermine what his character said or downplay his character's accomplishments, and respected his character’s thoughts and feelings. Steven felt surprised to realize that he had gone so long expecting to be belittled. </p><p>When the credits finished rolling, the theater was silent. Steven didn’t know what to do. He wondered what it was he wanted to happen. It was like the black and white colors of the film had flown into his very soul, and he was different now than before the movie began. </p><p>Andrew let go of Steven’s hand. Then, he stood up and began to clap. The sharp noise resonated harshly in the silence. Shane followed suit, pulling Ryan to stand up with him. </p><p>“We are the only ones who need to feel proud of this,” Shane said to Ryan. “Even if no one else thinks so, we deserve to have this moment.”</p><p>Although the words weren’t directed at Steven, he felt them deeply. Steven realized he’d been waiting for someone else to tell him that this meant something, that this was important, that this was worthy. He’d been waiting for the crowds to cheer so he’d know that he’d done a good job. </p><p>Steven twisted around in his seat to face the rest of the theater. The applause remained sparse – one of the other executive producers and a couple of the writers were clapping their hands. Madeleine, who had become a friend through filming, stood and clapped with her chin tilted high, a steel set to her purple lips. </p><p>Steven felt heartened by the small display of support. However, he couldn’t help but notice the majority of the audience were speaking in hushed whispers. Their expressions seemed displeased. Steven caught a few quick glances his way. </p><p>“How unnatural,” he thought he heard someone say.</p><p>Steven turned back around. The urge to shrink down into his chair warred with the urge to stand up and shout. He worked damn hard on his movie, they all did, and it was a good one! Isn’t this what he and Ryan had fought for? Underneath his feet, the churning current of doubt – what if they were right, what if he wasn’t good enough – swelled and receded.</p><p>Steven took a deep breath in and focused on his senses. To his right, he could hear Shane and Ryan clapping, making quiet conversation. Behind him, a sea of murmurs. To his left, a man who had not stopped putting his hands together for a moment. </p><p>Deep in his core, Steven felt proud of what they’d managed to accomplish. Even though it wasn’t particularly innovative or the first of its kind (Anna May Wong held that honor), it still meant something. To Steven, to Ryan, to Shane. To their friends and family. </p><p>Steven rose slowly to his feet, holding Shane’s words tightly to his chest. </p><p>
  <em>We deserve to have this moment.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Even if no one else thinks so.</em>
</p><p>Steven spread his arms out wide and slapped them together, making the loudest, most obnoxious claps he could.</p><p>He saw Andrew smile at him out of the corner of his eye. </p><p>Steven clapped harder. </p><p>In his chest, it felt like thunderous applause.</p><p> </p><p>Madeleine caught Steven as he was on his way to meet Andrew at his car. Andrew had more or less told Steven that he couldn’t make it through the after-party and he wanted to take Steven home, now. Steven wasn’t much of a socializer, anyway, so he said his goodbyes to Shane, Ryan, the producers, and the crew before heading off in the direction of the entrance, where the valet would bring Andrew’s car. </p><p>“Madeleine!” Steven said, smiling. </p><p>“Steven!” </p><p>Madeleine held her arms out for a hug and kissed him on both cheeks when he bent down to reciprocate. </p><p>“That was so wonderful,” she told him. “It was a treat to work with you, but to see the fruits of our labor on the big screen… nothing will ever compare.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Steven said, wistful. “There really is nothing else in the world quite like this.”</p><p>“Congratulations, also,” Madeleine said. “This movie was a big step for you – for all Asian Americans. I’m happy for you, and I’m glad to have been a part of it.”</p><p>“Thank you for helping,” Steven said. “I know this wasn’t the independent woman role you wanted.”</p><p>Madeleine shrugged. “Sometimes you take what you can get. That’s the complexity when two issues intersect, isn’t it? I am white but a woman, you are a man but not white. No one problem will fit neatly around another problem, even as they coexist in reality. It doesn’t make other problems less important. I'll never stop fighting for women’s equality, but it’s never harmful to assist in a solution, even if it’s not for your own cause.”</p><p>Steven shook his head. “Thank you, truly. I’ll never be able to express how grateful I am.”</p><p>Madeleine grinned. “I think you’re doing fine.”</p><p>Steven couldn’t stop himself from bringing her into another hug. When he pulled back, their faces sported matching beams. “I think I gotta go, Andrew’s waiting. I’ll see you at the suffragette meeting next month?” Steven asked.</p><p>“You don’t have to, but we’ll be glad to have you,” Madeleine told him.</p><p>“You didn’t have to, but I was glad to have you, too.” </p><p>Madeleine patted him on the arm. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”</p><p>Steven laughed and shook his head. “I still don’t know what that means.”</p><p> </p><p>Andrew was uncharacteristically quiet on the way back, clutching tight to Steven’s hand without letting go even for a moment. The moment they arrived at his home, he shoved Steven through the door so hard that Steven tripped over his own two feet and stumbled to the floor. </p><p>“Andrew!” Steven laughed. “We’re here now, you can take your time!”</p><p>“The hell I can,” Andrew retorted. His suit jacket was long lost, shucked somewhere in their limousine. Andrew’s thick fingers were trying to untie his cravat, but he was unable to dig his fingers into the knot. “Damn it!” he hissed.</p><p>“Hey, hey, whoa.” Steven rose to one knee and coaxed Andrew down so he was sitting cross-legged in the foyer with Steven. “Let me turn the lights on,” Steven said. </p><p>Andrew waited patiently as Steven rose and puttered around the foyer, turning the lights on and putting his jacket away. When Steven returned, Andrew was waiting in the same position, eyes half-lidded, expectant. </p><p>Steven smiled. He knelt down in front of Andrew. With gentle fingers, he began to untie Andrew's cravat. “You know, I never, ever, ever, in a million years, imagined this would happen.”</p><p>“What, Steven?”</p><p>Steven smiled sweetly at Andrew, peeking at him through his eyelashes even though he was taller. “That I’d be able to go to a movie premiere where I was the lead role. That we would end up here, like this.”</p><p>“At the premiere, plenty of people asked you questions that I could see hurt your feelings,” Andrew said.</p><p>“Yes, they did. But I know what this movie means to me, even if they don’t.”</p><p>“I see you cry sometimes, too,” Andrew said.</p><p>“Yes, well. I think I always will.”</p><p>Andrew reached up with one hand, cupping Steven's face. He rubbed the apple of Steven’s cheek with his thumb, caressing his jawline. “I don’t think I can promise you it will get better. But I promise to be here by your side for all of it. That is what I want with you. My love. <em>Kohaniy</em>.”</p><p>Steven smiled at Andrew. “I think that’s all I want, too,” he whispered, as if speaking too loudly would ruin what was building between them. </p><p>Andrew grinned at him. “Well, then, come on.” He pulled Steven to his feet. “I don’t think I can carry you.”</p><p>Steven’s eyes sparkled. “That sounds like a challenge.”</p><p>“Oh, no,” Andrew groaned, even as Steven crouched down, preparing to leap into Andrew’s arms. </p><p>Andrew took a few steps back. “Steven! Steven, no! You’re too heavy! Steven!”</p><p>Steven flung himself at Andrew, sending them both crashing into a wall. Steven’s head knocked into a picture frame above Andrew’s head. </p><p>“Ow,” Steven cried. He pouted and rubbed at his forehead. “That hurt.”</p><p>“Of course it did,” Andrew said with a small laugh. “Come on, now.”</p><p>Together they stumbled towards Andrew’s bedroom, intermittently pausing for laughter in between kisses. </p><p>Steven pushed Andrew onto the bed. “I’m going to… freshen up,” Steven said in a passable impression of a flirtatious woman. He mimed tossing long hair over his shoulder as he flounced towards the bathroom. “Make yourself comfortable.”</p><p>“I’ll try not to fall asleep!” Andrew called after him, grinning.</p><p>“Don’t be a jerk!” Steven yelled back before the bathroom door closed and it was quiet again.</p><p>Andrew sat in the dark, grinning to himself. He was so goddamn lucky. A year ago, he was nothing more than a rich bastard from Ukraine with too much money and nowhere to spend it. Now, he’s a man who has seen passion and is determined to bring it to fruition. He’s a man with a goal, a man with a partner.</p><p>He thanked the gods for the wind that brought his feet to Steven’s alcove that night. He thanked them again for helping him find the words to stay and talk to Steven. And then he prayed one more time: for him and Steven to grow old together. To learn each other, to grow from and for each other, and when the time comes, to travel to the next world together.</p><p>Steven found Andrew like that, with his eyes closed and hands clasped together at the edge of the bed.</p><p>“Hey,” Steven said softly, his fingers gently prying Andrew’s hands apart. “What’re you thinking of?”</p><p>Andrew’s eyes fluttered open. “You,” he said honestly.</p><p>Steven smiled. “Me too.”</p><p>“You were thinking of yourself?” Andrew smirked, because Steven made it easy, sometimes.</p><p>Steven laughed. “No, I was thinking of you, you jerk!”</p><p>Andrew smiled broadly. “Oh, yeah? Why don’t you show me?” He leaned back on his hands, appreciating Steven's body in all its naked glory for the first time that night.</p><p>Steven had taken the time to shower and clean himself out. His pale skin was scrubbed pink, and Andrew could smell the fruity scent of his lotion on his body. His cute pink cock was already flushed and beginning to fill, hanging between his legs. </p><p>“An<em>drew</em>,” Steven blushed. </p><p>“Come, Steven.” Andrew held out a hand and coaxed Steven into his lap. “You are so goddamn beautiful, you know this?”</p><p>“Mmmm, is that so? Tell me more.” Steven smiled at Andrew, still blushing but his eyes sparkled mischievously. He used to get so flustered when Andrew said things like that, but now he just grinned like it was his due. Andrew loved that look on him. </p><p>Andrew couldn’t resist leaning in and kissing the smile off Steven’s face. </p><p>Steven reciprocated by winding his arms around Andrew’s neck and plastering himself closer, squeaking into Andrew's mouth when his stiff nipples brushed against the woolen shoulders of Andrew’s suit vest.</p><p>Steven drew back with a pout. “You’re wearing too many clothes!”</p><p>“I don’t know, that was a really cute sound,” Andrew pretended to consider. </p><p>“Why, you – !” Steven shoved his weight into Andrew, pushing him back into the mattress and attacked Andrew’s buttons – gently, because Steven had no idea how much a suit like that cost and didn’t really want to find out.</p><p>Andrew huffed a laugh. Steven did look a little ridiculous: naked, flushed, with his half-hard cock swinging between his legs. Andrew loved him so much.</p><p>“Okay, off, off! I’ll take my clothes off. We don’t want you to go around breaking my clothes,” Andrew said. He took off his vest first, then removed his cufflinks, then unbuttoned his stiff dress shirt button by button. </p><p>Steven wiggled in his lap, impatient. “Who told you to get a suit with so many buttons?” Steven demanded. He shuffled backwards so he could start working on Andrew's pants. “Just because you’re rich and famous doesn’t mean you have to be so fancy!”</p><p>“Well, it kind of does,” Andrew said, watching Steven under hooded eyelids. “But who knows? One day when you’re richer and more famous than me, you can change all that.”</p><p>“I will,” Steven said, far too seriously for a man wrestling with a pair of suit slacks with the intention to be having sex in the near future. “I’ll change all of that. I’ll show everyone Asians aren’t cold and unfeeling and barbarians, I’ll show everyone that we can be together and we’re not insane or bad, and I’ll show everyone that these pants – are – evil!” Steven finally unhooked the two parts of Andrew’s fly and unzipped it the rest of the way. </p><p>“Well, hopefully you won’t be showing everyone <em>too </em>much,” Andrew quipped, obligingly lifting his hips and helping Steven slide his pants and socks off. “This is something that I intend to be just for you.”</p><p>“Good,” Steven said, uncharacteristically possessive. “It <em>is</em> mine.”</p><p>Andrew smiled at Steven. “Come here, Steven. I want to kiss you again.”</p><p>Steven obliged, draping himself over Andrew’s front and wrapping his arms around Andrew’s body like a soft and warm octopus. </p><p>They kissed lazily, relishing the warmth of each other’s bodies. Andrew’s hands slid down Steven’s back to cup his ass, causing Steven to rut down into Andrew's hips. </p><p>“Feel good?” Andrew murmured into Steven’s mouth.</p><p>“I like it. Probably too much,” Steven added with a little giggle. </p><p>Andrew grinned. “Good. I’m glad,” he said, pressing kisses into Steven’s jaw while kneading his ass with his hands.</p><p>“Oh – <em>oh</em>, oh, oh, oh, <em>ah</em>, that feels, <em>aaah</em>.” Steven’s hips jerked uncontrollably in Andrew's hands as he buried his face in Andrew’s shoulder, trying to muffle his high-pitched keens.</p><p>“I love how sensitive you are here,” Andrew rumbled in Steven’s ear. “I haven’t even touched your hole yet, but even your lovely, round ass draws this much response from you.”</p><p>Steven pulled back to pout at Andrew. “At this rate, I’m going to come long before we get to the good part.”</p><p>“Guess I’d better grab the lube, baby.” Andrew gave Steven's ass one last smack, watching it jiggle with a satisfied smirk, before stretching his arm out to find the lube in the nightstand.</p><p>When Andrew returned to Steven, Steven had sat up on his heels, smiling softly at Andrew. Andrew stole a kiss before popping the cap and scooping some of the lube out with his fingers.</p><p>Steven followed the movement of Andrew’s fingers with his eyes. “I love your fingers,” he said, a dreamy smile still on his lips. He grabbed Andrew by the wrist and pressed his hand to Andrew's, palm to palm, ignoring Andrew's protest about getting lube all over Steven’s hands. “See? My fingers are longer, but yours are thicker. I really like that. It makes me feel safe.”</p><p>“Oh, Steven.” Andrew abandoned the bottle of lube to give Steven another kiss. “You are precious to me. Of course I will do everything in my power to make you feel safe.”</p><p>Steven smiled sweetly, beautifully. “You are to me too, Andrew.”</p><p>Steven laid on his back on the bed and let Andrew help him prop his hips up with two pillows. He shivered when Andrew’s slick fingers brushed against his hole. </p><p>“Are you relaxed?” Andrew asked. </p><p>“Kiss me and I will be,” Steven demanded, making grabby hands at Andrew's face. </p><p>Andrew laughed and obliged Steven. “Take a deep breath, darling,” he murmured against Steven’s lips. </p><p>Steven closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose as Andrew pushed into Steven's body with his index finger. </p><p>Andrew smoothed out the lines between Steven’s eyebrows with his thumb. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Steven breathed. He opened his eyes and tilted his chin up so he could kiss Andrew's wrist. “The first finger is just always kind of uncomfortable.”</p><p>Andrew hummed. Their breaths intermingled as Andrew slowly worked in his middle finger, and his ring finger. As he worked Steven open, the uncomfortable sensation gave way to pleasure, and Steven was shuddering and squeezing around Andrew's fingers. </p><p>“Andrew, Andrew, please, hurry up, please, please,” Steven chanted. His eyes were squeezed shut and his hair matted with sweat. </p><p>“Yes, baby, I will, I will,” Andrew murmured, brushing Steven’s hair from his forehead and pressing a kiss to his skin. </p><p>Steven shivered when Andrew removed his fingers from his hole but Andrew didn’t give him the time to feel empty, pushing the blunt head of his cock against Steven's clenching hole. </p><p>“Can I?” Andrew rumbled. </p><p>Steven let out a sigh. Lifting his hand from the sheets, he wrapped his fingers around Andrew’s bicep. “Please. I want to feel you inside me,” Steven said.</p><p>Andrew pushed into Steven’s warm and pliant body, keeping his pace slow so he didn’t hurt Steven. </p><p>Steven let out a deep sigh when Andrew was all the way in. “I can feel you in me. I can feel your hips against mine. You’re so deep,” Steven murmured as if in a trance, the tips of ghosting along Andrew’s arms. He wrapped his fingers around Andrew’s forearms, which were braced by his head. “Please move. Please.”</p><p>Andrew was beholden to Steven’s plea. </p><p>Andrew moved slowly at first, but responded to Steven whining and writhing in bed, morning for Andrew to move faster. </p><p>Andrew hiked Steven’s legs over his shoulders and rose to his knees so he could drive his hips deeper into Steven. </p><p>“I like… I like seeing you like this,” Andrew told Steven, his voice steady even as his hips snapped erratically. “You are so beautiful when you aren’t worrying – you are beautiful, always, but I am happy when I can make you like this – with nothing else on your mind but what you are feeling in the moment.”</p><p>“You make me feel so good, Andrew,” Steven panted, voice broken by moans. “You always do. I trust you with me.”</p><p>“Yes,” Andrew hissed. “Yes, Steven. I love you.”</p><p>Andrew’s large, warm hands stroked slowly up Steven’s back and around to his front, briefly thumbing over Steven’s nipples and eliciting a high-pitched, reedy moan before brushing a fiery trail down his stomach. </p><p>“<em>Andrew</em>,” Steven sobbed, his legs tightening over Andrew’s shoulders. </p><p>Andrew worked a hand between them, loosely fisting Steven’s dripping cock. </p><p>“Will you come?” Andrew asked Steven, his own breath starting to come in pants. “Will you come for me, Steven?”</p><p>“Yes,” Steven sobbed. “Yes – Andrew, <em>Andrew </em>– ”</p><p>Steven arched off the bed and came messily over his stomach and Andrew’s hand. His walls spasmed around Andrew’s cock, making Andrew grunt. </p><p>Andrew started to pull out, not wanting to overstimulate Steven, but Steven stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Are you close?” Steven asked. </p><p>Andrew looked down at Steven. Steven’s lips were ruby red from kissing Andrew and biting his lips, his body and face flushed with the high of his orgasm. His eyes were just a touch unfocused, still in the haze of his lost-orgasm high. Steven’s hair lay mussed around his head like a halo. Andrew nearly came at the sight. </p><p>“I am,” he gritted. </p><p>Steven let his hand fall back. “Come inside,” he told Andrew, arching his back again and letting out a delicious moan at the feeling of Andrew’s cock rubbing against his oversensitive walls. “Just come.”</p><p>Andrew didn’t wait for more direction. Grabbing Steven’s plush hips, he drove his cock into Steven, chasing his orgasm. </p><p>It didn’t take long. Another moan from Steven’s beautiful bitten lips and Andrew came inside Steven with a low groan, his fingers tight around Steven’s hips. </p><p>“<em>Ahhh</em>….” Steven whined at the feeling of Andrew’s warm come painting his walls. “Andrew… Andrew….”</p><p>Andrew gently eased Steven’s legs from his shoulders and pulled out of Steven’s body, feeling a perverse sort of pleasure in seeing his own come deep from Steven’s body. Andrew lowered himself so he was lying beside Steven. “Yes, Steven, <em>kohaniy</em>, my love. I am here.”</p><p>Steven rolled over so he was facing Andrew, although his eyes were already half lidded in sleep. Steven’s hand sought Andrew’s, lacing their fingers together. “Thank you,” Steven whispered. </p><p>“What for?” Andrew whispered back. </p><p>Steven let out a deep sigh, a breath before sleep claimed him. “For looking for me. For looking at me. For believing in me. For being here. For being you. For loving me. Thank you. <em>Aku cintakan kau</em>, Andrew. I love you.”</p><p>Andrew watched as Steven’s eyes fluttered closed, and Steven’s breaths evened out into the deep breaths of slumber.</p><p>He pressed a gentle kiss to Steven’s forehead. “Thank you, Steven. For looking at me. For being you. For loving me. <em>Ya tebe kohayu</em>, Steven. I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>In the morning light, Andrew blinked himself awake slowly. Squinting into the sunny blue sky outside his window, he realized that he’d forgotten to draw the blackout curtain last night. </p><p>With a groan, Andrew rolled over to his other side. </p><p>Steven was no longer in bed, but his side of the bed was still warm. </p><p>Forcing his eyes open further, Andrew reached over to the bedside table for his glasses so he could see more clearly. </p><p>With his glasses on, Andrew found Steven was still in the bedroom, sitting at Andrew’s work desk and writing in a little book. </p><p>Andrew took a moment to admire Steven. Steven hasn’t put on any clothes, and his beautiful olive skin seemed to glow pink in the morning light. Steven’s own glasses were perched on his nose and he seemed intensely focused on the pages of his journal. </p><p>Andrew heaved himself out of bed and padded over to Steven. </p><p>Steven immediately slammed a hand over his journal. “Andrew!” he admonished. “That’s private!”</p><p>Andrew held his hands up in surrender. “I wasn’t looking!”</p><p>“I could tell you what I was writing about, anyway,” Steven said, a frown on his lips but a flush overtaking his cheeks. </p><p>Andrew raised an eyebrow. “Oh? What were you writing about?”</p><p>Steven grinned, triumphant. “You! I was writing about you and how much I love you. How lucky I am to be here with you.”</p><p>Andrew wrapped an arm around Steven’s shoulders and pressed a kiss into his hair. “Yes, I feel the same way. I am lucky, so lucky.”</p><p>Steven rose from his seat with a blinding smile. “Well, then, Mister Lucky, how do you feel about washing up and getting breakfast?”</p><p>Andrew brought Steven’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. “If it’s with you? I would love to.”</p><p>Steven smacked Andrew on the arm as they walked hand in hand out of the room. “You can be so cheesy sometimes!”</p><p>“Wouldn’t you say it’s… <em>cheddar</em> than not being cheesy?”</p><p>“<em>Andrew</em>!”</p><p>On Andrew’s writing desk, Steven had left his journal open to the page he was reading. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Oh! And I met Andrew! Andrew Ilnyckyj. Apparently he’s a hot shot producer and he’s going to be funding Madej’s next movie (which, with any luck, I will be in!), but I can’t really reconcile that man and the I talked with for most of the night. Maybe I’m naive, but I really liked him. </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I just hope that I get the part and this movie turns out okay. I hope we make enough money at the box office that it’s not considered a total flop. I hope Andrew will continue to fund it even in the face of all the criticism I know we’ll get.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>It would be so amazing if this movie does take off! But I know not to blindly expect that. I think, as long as I put all my effort into this, then it doesn’t matter if it flops. I shot my shot. I did what I believe in. And I think, that alone will be worth it.</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>A warm breeze blew in through the window by Andrew’s desk, rustling its pages. Birdsong flew through the branches of the tree by the window. Downstairs, two men laughed as they attempted to cook breakfast together. </p><p>High above, the sun would keep on shining, just a little star in the wide silver sky.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heres to pretending andrew is a good non-rapist producer in hollywood lol<br/>Jk im sure andrew is a good guy but we all know about them producers</p><p>Anywayyyyyyyyyyy lol on a happier note hope you liked this fic! I like. Wanted to write sexy standrew porn based on the song “I’d be surprisingly good for you” from Evita the musical, but then I started writing and lmfao y’all know how it is. I ended up wanting to share my experience as a Chinese American. I hope I was able to convey it a little bit! </p><p>And for those of you who aren’t here to be emotionally validated, I hope you enjoyed those 200 words of truly disgustingly soft porn at the end lmfaooo</p><p>The necessary disclaimers:<br/>I was gonna not involve another language bc there’s too much room for error but, then I heard andrew speak ukranian in their toast episode literally last night (its around like 8.30min if you need to hear it bc I did) and i… lost my fuckn mind LOL. I speak neither ukranian nor malay so if despite my best efforts I messed that shit up plz let me know (I do speak Chinese and apparently just decided not to work it into this fic :/ who is idiot here it is me) also, this fic takes place in like around the 1950s/60s, and according to my brief research, apparently Malaysia was using English at that time (British English, mostly). Just… plz don’t flay me for historical inaccuracies haha I really just set out to write porn</p></blockquote></div></div>
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